Big Thank You!! Chris and Lisa, you’re both amazing.
I have been doing a lot of searching the past few weeks. I have had to make and still am in the process of making some big life changes. I have been doing a lot of self-reflection over the past several weeks. I have and still need to decide what my next step is going to be in regards to school, my career, and life.
I have worked for the past 7 years on one goal, earning my RN degree. I sacrificed, myself, family, friends knowing that in the end, it would be worth it. I was working full-time night shift, full-time school schedules knowing each semester I only had 15 weeks and I would be done. Then my life changed forever on January 30, 2016. You know my story, so I will not bore you with the details again. If you are new to my team then feel free to explore my page.
I thought I was ready to go back to school. I thought that I was finally able to move forward. I had a short time that I thought I had a handle on my PTSD. The stress of school; continued pain, and the news of needing another surgery was too much for me. The nightmares started again. The feeling of being trapped. The acrid burning smell of the airbag, and the hot wires. The flashes of the car coming at me. Insomnia night after night… that’s when the depression hit me. It was early September 2016. I was a few weeks into my final term. I fell into the deepest depression I have every experienced in my life. Each day I pushed forward wearing a mask, so no one would see just how much I was hurting and suffering.
I spend each day, fighting the darkness that lives inside of me. Most days, I am able to hide behind the mask that I show to the world. Somedays I just simply cannot fight the darkness.