How do you say goodbye?
How do you say goodbye to someone who has been in your life since the day you were born. How do you say goodbye to the teacher and confidant woman? How do you say goodbye to the one you call when you have a broken heart, broken bone, or just a hurt finger. How do you say goodbye to the woman who you thought would never die.
I find myself, even now, wanting to call you with updates on how my day is going or what funny thing happened to me. The other day I was looking for a recipe and found one written in your hand. The bottom included a note, “call nana if you need help.” I actually picked up my phone and started to dial your number. I had put in several digits before I stopped. What stopped me was the tears silently leaking out of my eyes rolling down my cheeks. Your loss hit me all over again. I was back in your room, saying my final goodbye. We both know that really we lost you before that sorrowful day. We lost you because of a disease that is still so misunderstood.
I have found that I have needed you more and more the last few days. When I need to feel you near me, I find myself getting the penny you slipped into my wedding dress. Just holding it in my hand settles me.
I can remember sitting at your kitchen table while you drank your coffee in the morning. How I wish, as the adult that I am now, I could sit with you, drinking a cup of coffee sitting across from you. Chatting about my life, fears, and dreams. Listening to the stories of your family and your life before I was born. Listening to your laugh as you tell me the penguin joke for the millionth time. We both know that you knew that joke better than anyone.
In the morning, I sit at my small table in my kitchen often before Steve even gets up for the day with a hot cup of coffee in my hand. I use my favorite mug. A large coffee mug with natural brown and green colors filled with the sweet nectar of life. The house is quiet. I can see the morning dew is still on the grass outside from the window next to my chair. The morning air still chilled. The squirrels and birds just woke up to greet the sun. The first sip of sweet liquid hits my tongue; I know I made it right. I admit that I do not drink it as you did; I like mine with sugar and cream. I do know that you would approve.
You would also like the coffee that I get, even though it is not your favorite brand. This blend has become my favorite coffee.
Each morning when I sit at my small table and have my cup of coffee, really I am having coffee for two. Just me and you.
https://riseupcoffee.com Winter Warmer Blend
“Uniquely crafted coffee inspired by the season. Featuring beautiful organic coffees from Sumantra and East Timor. This festive blend combines excellent sweet brown sugar notes from Timor with the classic earth tones of Sumatra”.
The obituary that shattered what was left of my heart.
Joyce Durnbaugh Hullings, 90, passed away peacefully in her home in Milton, DE. on Sunday, November 24, 2019. Joyce was born on May 31, 1929, at the home of her grandparents, Joseph and Lillian Durnbaugh in Capitol Heights, MD, to the late William F. Durnbaugh Sr. and Hazel E. Durnbaugh (Gray). She is survived by her brother, Leonard E. Durnbaugh (Judy) of Chesapeake Beach MD. On February 9, 1948, she married her soul mate and love of her life, Raymond A. Hullings Sr. Together they had three children Carol Ann Smith of Naples, FL, Susan Hullings Mattia (Jerry Pirrung) of Milton, DE, and Raymond A. Hullings Jr. of Mt. Vernon, KY. The family grew to include four Grandchildren, Dawne Castellano (Timothy), Tammy Madden (Ronald), Christopher Mattia (Lisa), and Cheryle Holmes (Steven). Five great-grandchildren: Roxanne Perez (Ashton Thomas), Kayla Madden (Chris Edmonds), Alexander Perez, Ryan Perez-Rodrigues (Wilson), and Shane Madden. Five great-great-grandchildren: Kaidence, Levi, MaKenna and Kyleigh (step). She was preceded in death by her parents, brother William F. Durnbaugh Jr. and lovingly devoted husband of 46 years Raymond A. Hullings Sr. Joyce lived a full life that included graduating from Maryland Park High School in 1946. She was a proud homemaker and mother. She taught Sunday School for 46 years at her former church, St. Barnabas Episcopal Church in Oxon Hill, MD. For the past three years, she has been a member of The Episcopal Church of St. John the Baptist in Milton, DE, where she regularly attended and remained involved with the Sunday School. She enjoyed watching baseball, in particular the Washington Nationals. One of her greatest pleasures was being able to watch the Washington Nationals win the World Series this year. She enjoyed being active in her garden, swimming, dancing, and spending time with her family. Family, Friends and all whose lives were touched by Joyce are invited to Kalas Funeral Home & Crematory, 2973 Solomons Island Rd., Edgewater, MD from 2-4 pm and 6-8 pm on Monday, December 2. The family will greet all who wish to attend the funeral service at All Hallows Brick Church, 3600 Solomons Island Rd, Edgewater, MD, on Tuesday, December 3 at 10 am. Burial will immediately follow at Cedar Hill Cemetery, 4111 Pennsylvania Ave, Suitland MD. The family strongly requests in place of flowers, donations are being accepted at: The Episcopal Church of St. John the Baptist The Joyce D. Hullings Memorial Fund P.O. Box 441 Milton, DE 19968