I see the way you look at me…

I see the way you look at me. I see the fear in your eyes. I see the hurt on your face because it is a reflection of mine. I know that you are scared, you see me black, blue and broken. You see your whole world laying on the bed, you know how it was almost taken away. I see you want to hold me, tell me everything will be ok… I can hear the love in your voice when you tell me, you love me. I can feel the tenderness of your touch when you touch my bruises and breaks. I can feel the love in your heart as you kiss my forehead, and a tear rolls off your cheek onto mine. I can feel the love in your heart when you look deep into my eyes, they seem to be the only part of me that is not black, blue and broken. My eyes are the only part of me that you can see the “real” me.  I can feel the love you have for me, when you look at be before you leave, I can feel the helplessness you feel as you don’t know how to help me. I can see the hurt on your face when you try to move my legs, and I cry out in pain. I want you to know, that because of you, I am able to push through each day. It’s the love that we share that gives me the strength to keep going. I am the same, yet I am now forever changed. The woman you knew, is still here deep inside my soul, what you see on the outside is just an outer shell, it will heal. My markings of blue, black and purple will fade, the cuts and scabs will heal and only a small scar will remain. The bones will mend, the ligaments and tendons will too. My nightmares will stop, and my soul will heal… Please just remember that I love you, forever.

The flash of my life that went before my eyes had memories of you, places we have gone, jokes we share, our life together. It also included other things, other people, other places, other times, other memories…As I think about them now, I know still to this day, I would not change a thing. The life that we have is not rich, it is not glamorous, but it is ours. The memories that I have are mine to cherish.

All of the people, that helped to create the quilt of my life give it color, patterns, strength and  character. I am grateful to every square on my quilt, no matter how small or how big. If it was not for the all of the squares on my quilt of life, I would have no life at all…Each square tells a story, each story has a very specific memory attached to it.  Steve your squares are the biggest, boldest, and most special to me…for that, I love you.

 

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