Over the last few days, I have been Looking over my “on this day…” on my Facebook feed. I am reminded of this time last year when I was at the start of my deep depression. I held the smiling mask for months over my tear streaked face, so the world world did not see. I faced the hardest part of recovery, law suit, hardest most painful days and nights not just physically but mentally.
I faced issues in all aspects of my life, home, work, school and every bit that came with it. Physical pain, mental anguish, nightmares, flashbacks, solitary nights, I could go on .
My public face stayed positive, high spirited but internationally I was in a deep dark place that even I did not recognize being in. It took months before my amazing doctor who sat in the chair across from me while I entered into a complete ugly cry, over one simple question “how are you?”. He took one look at me and said “your depressed.” Those words started another round of melt down. Why did I not recognize the symptoms or signs? Why did no one else? Was I that good at masking?
Depression, it is the silent killer no one wants to talk about. It’s the silent lover that tears marriages apart. It’s the silent bearer that comes between friends and loved ones.
After a year I still battle with depression and generalized Anxiety disorder. It is a daily struggle that for me day I hope win the battle.
Team, thanks for being you!!