April has been full of great happenings…

Hello TEAM!!! Happy April to you all…

So far the month has been filled with great and exciting things happing for the Holmes family…

Happy 40th Birthday to my world, my one and only… Steve!

Steve turned 40 on the 21st! We had a wonderful celebration over the weekend. We got 1/2 bushel of beautiful blue swimmers, that were steamed to a beautiful red color then sprinkled with yummy old bay seasoning. We had corn on the cob, steamed shrimp, and ice cold beer. The next night we Grilled steak with veggie kabobs and introduced Chris to Hopkins dairy ice cream…YUMM.  The most important thing was we had good times, laughs and made many memories. On Monday night had a wonderful dinner with two of our closest friends and added more laughs, and good times was had by all.

man and woman standing side by side
Happy Birthday to my love
bushel basket with lid
ymmmm.. this is filled with cooked crabs for Steve’s 40th Birthday!
Steve showing off his Birthday crabs…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

man in red shirt eating a crab claw, smiling
Chris enjoying his crabs on Steves 40th Birthday Celebration

Another grand celebration this month is we got a visit from Chris. He has spent several days with us, prior to heading up north for work.  We have traveled all over DE and MD for the past few days. Lots of smiles, laughs, good times and memories. From Thrashers at the beach to yummy crab cakes MD style to hot steamed crabs and beer. He has been able to spend lots of time with nana and mom that has been great. We missed having his beautiful wife Lisa with him this trip. She makes our family complete!

 

If you know much of anything about me, you know that my brother is not only my biggest supporter but my hero! I do not know where I would be without him or his guidance. I do my best to make him proud each day. We are on opposite ends of this great country but I know that with a moment’s notice, he will move heaven and earth to be here if I need him.

 

Now, in true Cheryle fashion… I have saved the best news for last… see what good little things you get if you read to the end of my post….

 

picture of graduation announcement, picture of girl in cap and gown
Mischief Managed!! I am finally GRADUATING!


First, I am officially announcing my GRADUATION from AACC.

On May 25, 2017, I will walk across the stage and receive my Associates Arts Degree from Anne Arundel Community College. As you know, my dream is to become an RN, sometimes our dreams have to be put on hold so we can full fill our destiny. This is not the degree that I wanted when I started, but I earned it. I dedicated the past 5 plus years to my education, and I will take this degree with a smile knowing that hard work, determination, and dedication made it possible. I am very proud of myself for bing able to check this box off.

 

university seal
BS Public Health

My other news, that some of you have been patiently waiting for…I am proud to announce that I have been officially accepted to a Bachelors of Science program at American Public University in West Virginia. I will be pursuing my BS in Public Health. I start classes at the university in July.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking… “she wanted to be a Nurse?” Yes, I did and YES I DO. Once I earn my BS Public Health I will be able to apply to a BS Nursing program. I will have taken nursing classes so I will have that under my belt. Once I have my BS Public Health and my BS Nursing and my Masters degree. I will be able to pursue my dream of becoming an educator in the healthcare field.

The universe threw me a curve ball, so hit it and have to go where it goes. I will not give up my dream or my goals it will just take me longer than I planned. I will be taking a full course load each term. I know the commitment that I am signed up for and I know that I will be able to do it. I’ll just have to remember the 3 D’s: Destination, Determination, and Deliberation….oh wait that’s how you Apparate. Well, I feel that the same things apply to school.  “one must be completely determined to reach one’s destination, and move without haste but with deliberation.” according to  Wilkie Twycross, Ministry of Magic the official Apparition Instructor.

I’ll just have to remember the 3 D’s: Destination, Determination, and Deliberation….oh wait that’s how you Apparate. Well, I feel that the same things apply to school.  “one must be completely determined to reach one’s destination, and move without haste but with deliberation.” according to  Wilkie Twycross, Ministry of Magic the official Apparition Instructor.

The biggest thing now is coming up with the funds to pay for the next step in my educational journey. I will do what I can, and make it happen somehow…

 

I have been slacking a little bit on blogging, for that I am sorry. I have had several things in the works and working very hard on them. I am very busy at work, climbing the clinical, balancing life, career, family and self. The balance is nothing new, it’s just a new balance.

Well, my friends, for now, that is all… I will leave you with all of this goodness.

Don’t forget to leave comments in the guestbook, let me know you have stopped in to say hello!

 

 

Why did you go?

Why did you leave us?

Why did you go? It’s been too many years since you decided without anyone’s permission to leave. That was the way you lived life, so I can see it. You lived life on your terms, so when it was time for you to go, you left on your terms.

Life had taken an unfair turn in the road for our little group of misfits, we called a family. I know that you can not always foresee those things happening, but the heartache that is left behind was devastating. We did not rally around each other, instead we lost each other. Many years of anger, resentment and heartache took its toll on the fragile bond that was left, ultimately tearing it so far apart that it was never truly mended.

You left us. You decided on your own that we did not need you anymore. You left questions unanswered. You left hearts broken. You left those who needed you the most.

I remember like it was yesterday, the night I got the call. Shock, pain, and a hole that has never been filled in my heart. I remember telling Steve, the pain, disbelief and hurt that was on his face. Seeing you days later laying the stillest you had ever been. I stood as tears rolled down my cheek, reaching down taking your hand.    

Your voice in my ear, I will carry you with me until we meet again… ❤

Time turner

I’m going to take you back in time…Just for a few minutes, to  March 2013

I had just turned in my application to the nursing program. Steve had agreed to stand beside me and support me during the next two years. Knowing I would be doing something amazing. We knew it would be hard. We also knew it was going to change our life.

I also was counting down to surgery day. I was scheduled for March 20 to have my bariatric surgery. I was taking steps to a healthier me. We were both scared. We both knew it was going to change our life.

We were ready for our lives to turn around. We had been living paycheck to paycheck for so long, it was time for financial freedom. We both knew it would not be easy. We both knew that it would take a few years, but it would be worth it in the end. Little did either of us know the events that would happen that year that would change our lives forever.

Three years later being so close to completing my goal. I lay with cold packs wrapped on my knee and ankle that are helping to reduce the swelling so my joints will move again. I look at the envelope that came in the mail last week. I look at the white envelope that is unopened. The blue stamp that says “Graduation Status Letter” that is stamped on the left side, just above my name and address. I can not bear to tear the paper. I do not have the strength to break the seal, that will open the letter. Even if the envelope was open, I am not brave enough to unfold the white paper that is inside and read the words that are printed on the page. I do not have the strength to read something that will make me cry.

I keep reminding myself, that my day will come. I keep reminding myself that I can make it, just one more semester. I tell myself every day that I wake up, I was spared for a reason. I hear the words that come from my lips “you can do this”. I read the words of encouragement. I smile, and when I suppose too I give the right advice. I am trying to keep hate out of my heart.

I am still deeply hurt. I mark the days off  on my calendar, one by one. I countdown, the number of days that I have left. I used to count down the days till graduation. I used to count down the days until pinning ceremony. I used to count down the days…now I count down the days of my leave.

I struggle to hold on to my happiness. I struggle to see the bright side. I struggle to see why this happened. I struggle to see what good will come of this. I simply struggle to see…I don’t know the lesson. I don’t know the reason. I don’t know why again, I am put in a situation where I have to choose, who gets paid. I don’t know why again I have to worry about the future of my little family.

You see my little family may not be much, but it’s all I have.  I am the one who has the full responsibility of making sure my family survives.

One day at a time…

I simply feel that…

I was robbed of my last semester; I was robbed of my cap and gown graduation; I was robbed of starting my future…

I simply know that…

I was not robbed of my LIFE; I was not robbed of my family; I was not robbed of my memories.

I will take my life back, and I will come back stronger than before.

I cannot believe that it has been a month since the accident. The bruises have started to fade; my muscles are starting to loosen, my bones are starting to mend. The memories will never truly fade; the nightmares will never really stop.

My nerves will always ‘twitch’, the numbness will never quite go away. I have scars on my knee that will constantly remind me; of the trauma I experienced that day, but I am alive… I keep reminding myself of that every day. I keep telling myself every day, just how lucky I am. I look at the pictures of the accident, the pictures of my car, and the way I looked lying in that bed, broken, bruised, and scared. It reminds me that I lived. I will live to see another day. I will live to see another sunset, enjoy a walk on the beach with Steve. I will live to laugh with my mom, and talk with my brother…I lived.

Now, the news you have all been waiting for on….

The orthopedic surgeon has decided at this time we are not going to do surgery! This does not mean that I am completely healed, or ready to hit the town…

My doctor feels that with more aggressive physical therapy, new ankle brace and more weeks of healing; I should be able to avoid surgery. We discussed the pro’s and con’s of having surgery. We both agreed to a plan concerning my ankle and knee. I will be adding aqua therapy to my physical therapy routine; this will allow me to transition from my “storm trooper boot” to a new walking brace with a real shoe over the next few weeks. Our primary goal is for me to learn to walk again. The next few months I will be pushing myself harder, and further than I have so far. I am determined to get my life back. One of the many obstacles that I face is getting through the pain.

I also have some more good news to share with all of you. Since BB-8 was destroyed in the accident, the insurance company agreed to replace my vehicle. I had to find something within my price range, and safety was my first concern. We had the most amazing salesmen at Annapolis Subaru, Wayne Eppard. Wayne sold us BB-8, and he did an amazing job with taking care of us again, when we called about looking for another Subaru. I am very excited because she is ours. Steve and I would like to introduce you to:

Brown Betty-08 2.0

lady with crutches standing next to a brown car, holding a sign
Brown Betty-08 2.0

Brown Betty is a 2008 Subaru Outback.

She was loved very much by her previous owner’s. I believe in the Subaru car company. My very first Subaru saved my life. Once I can drive again, I know that I will be safe. She will be waiting for me in the drive way when I am able to drive again…. 

Friends and Family….I love them!

I think one of the things that I love about my life, is the people in it. I have friends who send me silly pictures, text messages that make me smile, offers of goodies, offers of sympathy, or just a friendly chat.

I have best friends who come to my aid when I am sick, hold my hand when I’m scared, make me laugh just because. 

I have family that checks on me and helps to care for me. They let me cry on them, hold me on bad days and cheer me on during good days.  

I know that when I have dark days or I am having the brightest day, I have amazing people who are at my side. I have some of the greatest friends who hold the lanterns of light that help me along my journey. I have a long way to go on my journey, but I know that I will not be alone. 

3 fingers with smiling faces and words "life is better with friends"