When the Sun shines..

When you walk out in the morning and you see the first bits of sunlight cresting over the horizon. When you see the light that is slipping through the trees as you walk to your car…smile.

When you are pulling in to your driveway after a long day and see the sun slipping back down below the horizon. When the first signs of night start to settle on your yard…smile.

Smile when you look at your calendar and see its full even before the week has begun. Smile when you see the caller ID on your phone from your best friend. Smile when you hear your children laughing and playing together even if you know it will be just 2 minutes more.
Every day that you wake up, SMILE. Be thankful that you woke up. Hug and kiss your significant other, partner or house mate. You never know when your last day could be today.

 

We we walk through life expecting things to happen. We expect good things.  The truth is, life does not happen to us, We happen to life. Good, bad, indifferent. The thing to remember is at the end of the day, what did you learn from it? Did a bad thing happen to you, that at the end of the experience turned into a change in your life you did not expect in a positive way? Did you win an award that turned into a curse?

 

The future feels like a lifetime away, but it comes so fast if you blink you could miss it. Just like a surfer on a wave…ride it til the end and enjoy every second of it!

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Major congratulations to someone who does not like the spot light on her. Some one who would rather give than receive, but gives more than she will ever know. A major accomplishment, for hardwork, dedication and a passion for her profession.  “When you look to the skies tonight, know that he is so proud and is always cheering you on”

 

 

 

Amazing Times

What an amazing past few weeks I have had. I guess to sum up things that have been happening: life is good.

Steve has been home with me for a few weeks. It has been great for both of us. I have been cooking..yes, I said that. Cooking every night. I have been meal planning, and going shopping of the week. I have made some amazing things. I am a 5 ingredient girl or less mind you. I have had only ONE fail.

My Birthday was amazing! Great times and Great company. Steve surprised me with dinner with my two best friends.

In a few weeks I will be starting my self imposed summer study sessions. I will be spending 3-4 hours per day reading, reviewing and preparing for 4th Semester 2.0. Such is life. 🙂 I am happy to be able to be doing it at all.

I have been working day shift at work, for the first time in 7 years. I have gotten to know my dayshift coworkers so much better. I have really enjoyed it. It has given me a new perspective on the way our unit functions. I have missed my nightshift gals so very much. Getting to see them in the morning when I come to work has been great, yet not enough. I have finally gotten used to waking each day about 0400-0430, getting things together and out the door. Its a different life, to be out the house with the morning sun and back home with the afternoon sun. What a different life it is. I have been working night shift since I came to the hospital. I love it. I have nights that I am “kicking and screaming” to leave my house, but its nothing to do with what I do, who I work with, or what I do. More that I wanted one more hour to stay home.

Since Steve has been home, I have been working dayshift we have fallen into a routine that is nice and comfortable. I am going to have to readjust in a few weeks to being alone again, and to burning the candle at both ends.  I will be able to do it. I will need support, understanding and patients more than ever. Steve will also, be going through an adjustment during that time. He will need real friends more than ever, while he is back in DE.

HEALTH UPDATE:

I see the orthopedic tomorrow for my 90 check up. I am crossing fingers that I get the all clear to return to regular duties. That way I can turn my paper work into school. I will be in PT for another two months to work on strengthening. One step closer to getting my life back.

Ok, so everyone have a great night…. TTYL

 

 

Last post…

Hello Team…

I wanted to post one last post before midnight. You see officially it will be my Birthday. I am turning 39 years old. I will officially be the last grandchild to be 39 Forever.

I am happy to be able to be celebrating my Birthday after what has happen to me over the past almost 5 months. 

Thank you all again for your support and Love!!

When it’s all just too much

Hello Team!!!!

Its been a hot minute since I have posted on my blog. This girl has been extremely busy the past few weeks.

Home Sweet Home:

After 4 months of rehabilitation with my parents at the shore house. I was able to finally come home. I was not able to come home until I could perform ADL (Activities of Daily Living) on my own without any help. It took me just days short of the 4 month mark for me to be able to shower without help. I had to be able to cook, clean, dress…I think you get the picture. I also had to make an even bigger step and be able to drive without someone else in the car with me. That meant that I had to get my anxiety under control, and a handle on my PTSD. This is a continued work in progress. I have been able to accomplish the goals of “driving” to and from my job to home. I have been able to drive to just a few other places, doctors appointments, and most importantly I attended and drove myself to May AACC 2016 Graduation and Pinning Ceremony for Jessica and my other friends.

My solo driving experience, left me with a little anxiety, some screams and a few laughs.  This was going to be the first time since that day I would be driving home. It took me a longer than normal drive home, but I did it. I was so proud of myself. I had a line of cars behind me on RT 2 southbound abut 3 miles long (I’m very sorry for that day if you were stuck in the traffic) I pulled into my neighborhood, I knew that I could relax soon. I guess thats what I get for thinking anything would be “easy’ or “normal”.

I was not long after that I was hobbling up my front porch to my front door. I was about to unlock my door and stay the night in my own bed. I put down my bad and went to grab the handle of screen door. “oh thats right, that broke off during the blizzard” ok… no problem, “I’ll just add that to the list of “things to get fixed”. Little did I know that list would soon become very long…

The next thing that I noticed was that I now had two guard spiders now living in between my screen door and front door.

  • 2 Aragog sized spiders had decided to guard my house for me while I was gone. How nice of them…NOT!!  So after I screamed like I was being attacked and beat them both with my cane. Now, I had to decided, burn the house or continue into my house. I figured I would first  do a thorough visual inspection  I was able to put the key in the lock and open my door…
  • A colony of ants had decided that my house was good enough for me, it was good enough for them… so after yet another jump, I pushed the door, “ran” well I more limped and hobbled into the house to get the broom, dustpan and spray.
  • As I was dumping and shaking the rug and the ants, I noticed my “cleaning bucket” was filled with rain water, and moving…??? “misquotes, must be…well I can’t be responsible for the Zika virus outbreak in my neighborhood” so I gently went down the 4 steps and around the side of my porch and dumped the bucket of water in the grass…
  • BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM escaped my lips as I almost jumped from my skin, ‘Newt Scamander’ the little lizard that used to live along the side of my house, was DEAD. Newt used to tease the birds and cats around my house by running down the side of my house. Newt always was around when I would be coming in or out in the spring and summer. He never really bothered me as long as he stayed outside.
  • Now, I have battled, spiders, ants, mosquitos, and a dead lizard. Was this really a good idea to come home? Ok, I mean at this point what else could go wrong?
  • After doing a few things, I stood at my door looking at my house, smelling the staleness of it, feeling the loneliness and the overall sadness that my house was. Even my christmas cactus that I have kept alive longer than any other plant I have ever owned, was not looking good.
  • I sat in Steve’s chair, and burst into tears. The wave of emotion came crashing down on me. I was home, but alone. I was here, but alone. I was alive, but alone. I was still broken and alone.

I have had people say to me “oh, no!! What happens now?” Then give the look. I have had people say “you know Cheryle and Steve they just can’t catch a break…” I’ve had people say “why you?” I’ve had people say a lot of things like that to me, about me, and to other people.

I’ve had people say “you should write a book”. I’ve had people say “you should call Ellen, or Steve Harvey or Maury!” I’ve had people tell me to send emails telling our story. I’ve had people say “we should do this…” I’ve had people say…
I always seem to be able look for the bright side of life. I always say things like “I’ll figure it out…” “I’ll find a way to get it done” or

My favorite saying to say to people, “it’s just how things go with us, we’ll be ok eventually” or “I’m alive, steve is alive and that’s all that matters” I always smile and go on about my business.

I did not ask for all the the bad things that have happend to Steve and I. I have not asked for the life experiences that we are having to experience. I did not ask for my husband to have brain damage, and not be the person that he once was. I did not ask for my accident to change my life in such a drastic way. I did not ask for the black cloud that hangs over our heads.

I try to live a honest life. I live within the law, pay taxes, and be a good neighbor to my fellow humans.

I know what your thinking. I know what your going to say. “You did not ask for this” “keep your chin up” “stay positive” “perspective” or “your being a eyore” if your going to say that please save it!!

I have been sitting on an announcement for a little but. I wanted to make sure that I could really do it before I really made the public announcement. I have finally moved back to my home. It is a trial to see if I am able to do everything that I need to do without help. I am driving short distances to and from where I need to go when I am alone. If I have steve with me I will go to a few places other than mandatory work, PT and home. Steve is home with me for a few weeks help me transition to being fully alone again (I’ll explain that in another paragraph).

Being home has been bittersweet to say the least, we are both happy to be home and together but due to  a constant stream of broken AC, missing lawn service, refrigerator that is barely hanging on and the various little projects we are working on to get the house organized.

 

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day! 
If your child is having breakfast with you…
If your child lives with their other parent…
If your child is the product of another, but you stepped up without a second thought…
If your child is no longer with you but will forever live in your heart…
If your child has fur and four legs…
If your a Mom who has to be both, for what ever the reason. 
The moment that you look into the eyes of your child you feel the spark. The moment you see the first smile on the tiny little face you feel the love in your heart. Hold on to your children. Hold on to the memories even if they were with you for a few hours or a few years. 

Past, present or future the love that you show your child is a special bond that can never be broken. You will always be a dad, for that I honor you today. 
Happy Fathers Day to you! 

Happy June 2016

Happy June Team!

I know it has been a hot long minute since I have posted. I have been a little busy. I will be posting again on a regular basis. If you follow me on FB then you know that I promised a BIG announcement tonight with this post…I will do that I promise.

I also want to take just a minute to acknowledge the 49 lives lost in the Orlando shooting, and the other people who where injured. I would like to offer my deepest sympathy to the families, friends and loved ones who are left behind. I would also like to acknowledge the family who lost their son in the tragic accident at the lake.

Now, a few updates on me:

My recovery has been long and hard. I have worked very hard everyday, pushing myself to the point of exhaustion and pushing myself harder physically and emotionally than I should. I have days that I can do nothing more than lay in bed with ice on my ankle and knee after work. I still am thankful to have my life and the people in it. I will continue to push myself each and everyday until I am fully healed.

I have been working full-time since I went back to work. I am still not able to work “full duty”, but I know that within a week or two I will be cleared to return to patient care. I was asked last week “Do you like doing this?” (meaning working as a secretary again) I wanted to think about my answer before answering. This was my response “I am thankful to be working, and this is good brain work, but I miss patient care. I get to interact with the visitors more now, but I miss really getting to know my patients and caring for them.” I said this with a big smile, and the person looked at me and smiled and said “Good, thats what I want to hear” One of the things that drives me to be a nurse is taking care of people and I miss that part of my job.  I will be back before I know it.  One of the things that drives me to want to work with new mothers and fathers, and take care of tiny humans is because nothing is more important the first few days as a new family. Getting to know the dynamics of different families, seeing the love on the faces of the new parents as they look at the newest addition to the family. One day at a time, I will make it back to where I am suppose to be.

I have been able to officially move back home. It was almost 4 months to the day of my accident that I was able to finally return home. I have had to make a few adjustments, but for the most part I have been able to be fully functioning at home.

Steve came home with me for a few weeks. We have been trying to have some type of normal. It will be short lived, and we will need to readjust to life without each other for the next 6 months but for the last few weeks it has been nice. I have been working dayshift so, that will be another adjustment for me, but I will be ok.

I’m sure that you have figured out that I am driving now. I still have times of anxiety, with being in certain situations but I am determined to move forward.

I am still going to Physical Therapy 2 days a week. I have finally been able to progress to strengthen exercises on my knee and starting on my ankle. I have had to wear my walking boot again while at work for one week, and now i will wear it alternating days. The purpose is to get more of the swelling off my ankle. The delay in treatment, and the misdiagnosis of my ankle and broken let caused me to have a few set backs but I am not letting it slow me down.

I will be getting myself prepared for my final term starting the first week of July. That means that two-three days a week I will be devoting time to studying. I will not be enjoying much fun, sun or time off for the rest of the summer. I will be working, studying, PT or sleeping. 🙂

I am going to starting posting again on a regular basis, on updates, and other topics.

Thank you again to everyone who has helped us over the past 4 months and thank you for those who continue to read my blog…

see you in a few days…